Are you expecting your 2nd child and nervous about how the dynamics of your relationship will change with your current, only child?! Oh, momma, I’ve been in your shoes! It can feel like a scary transition to think about preparing your child for a new baby.
In fact, as I was laying on the delivery bed moments in between pushes I cried that “What if Lucas doesn’t like his brother?”. My husband, mom, and nurses quickly assured me they would be best of buddies (they are)! And that Lucas would adjust to having another baby in the family.
My youngest has been with us for over a year and a half now, and I can confidently say they are definitely buddies!
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What did I do before my second child arrived to help my oldest understand a baby was coming?
The most important thing my husband and I both did was regularly talk to him about the baby. We told him that the baby was busy growing in my belly. As we bought diapers, wipes, and pacifiers for the baby we regularly told him who they were for. My husband and I let him help pick out new books, toys, and clothes for the baby.
Another thing that really helped my son was reading books to him about this upcoming change in our lives. Two of his favorites were “I’m a Big Brother” by Caroline Jayne Church and “Just Me and My Little Brother” by Mercer Mayer. It helped him see a lot of positives about being a brother and ways he could help with the baby.
We lived in a very small three-bedroom home when my second child was born. The “third” bedroom was set up as my husband’s office.
There really wasn’t enough space for him to have his own room. We were planning to move within 6 months of his birth and we wanted in our room the first few months anyway.
I definitely suggest making your older child involved in getting the new baby’s room together. I had my oldest help me pick out clothes for the baby at the hospital. He also helped with getting a box of items ready for my room (diapers, wipes, and diaper cream).
In this article by Mayo Clinic, they make a point to say that if you are planning to move an older child to a new bed or room to make room for the new baby to do this well in advance. I think this is great advice because we wouldn’t want a child to feel less or displaced when bringing a new baby home.
How to make your older child feel important when meeting their new sibling for the first time?
When your children meet for the first time is such a special time! You want to make sure that you can give attention to your older child and to your younger child.
When our older son came to the hospital (pre-covid)to meet his brother we made sure he knew we had been missing him. We gave him a lot of hugs.
Some parents think it’s nice for the siblings to exchange gifts. We had our older son give our younger son a toy elephant. Our older son was gifted a little people set of people.
It was a nice way for our older son to feel loved and missed since we hadn’t seen him in a few days.
How to keep the moment special?
The moment that my kids met for the first time is probably something that they won’t remember but by golly, I sure will! It will go down as one of the best memories.
I’ll never forget the way they looked at each other or the way my older son pulled him close to give hugs. Or how he asked so sweetly to hold him (over and over) again. I’ll never get those moments back and more than happy to have the pictures.
I know some families have even hired photographers for these special occasions. Thankfully my husband and I had our nice camera with us. My husband made sure to take pictures throughout the process.
No matter what you do to continue preparing your child for a new baby its no doubt that they will take some time to adjust. Anytime you add a new family member the dynamics of the family will change. Just as you are learning to adjust to life with 2 children! What a joyful and fun time!
Please leave me a comment with your best tips for preparing your child for a new baby! I can’t wait to hear from you in the comments below! As always don’t forget to share this with a mom expecting her second child.
Love, Ashley E
